Self Absorbed

Vintage Megan Fox!,

Foxy, at the premiere of Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen, back in February of 2004.

We’re so happy she got rid of the chola eyebrows!

[Images via WENN.]

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Sexy Sarah’s Resignation Speech,

Bless her heart!

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MJ Had Two Albums In The Works,

Michael Jackson is dead. And that sucks. It really does.

The saddest part of the sudden death of Michael Jackson is the loss of the artist who created such iconic music. Though there are rumors of secret musical vaults and unheard tracks, reports are now coming in that Jackson was working on two separate albums while also preparing for his tour.

One album was to stay true to his roots, staying in the pop genre, but the other would have been made up of instrumental compositions. On his pop record, Jackson collaborated with Claude Kelly and Akon, who recalls Jackson being motivated for the new tour by his fans and his children, who had never seen him perform live. The classical album was headed by composer David Michael Frank, who was invited to Jackson’sHolmby Hills home several months ago to assist with the orchestration.

The only consolation?

It’s only a matter of time before these recordings are finished and released!

[Image via WENN.]

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Maniston’s New Career Venture,

Like many starlets before her, Jennifer Aniston is setting her sights on entering the “exciting”, albeit risky world of owning a restaurant. Reports are saying that Jen is in the early stages of developing her own dining establishment.

Little is known about when this will happen and what kind of restaurant it will be, but according to sources, it is something Jen is very passionate about.

“Jennifer is really passionate about cooking,” says a Man insider. “She recently had a new kitchen fitted and she loves it. She can cook anything from Mexican meals to Italian food to cakes. She does use cookbooks but mainly they are her own recipes. Everyone says she should open her own restaurant and she said she would love to.”

Celebrity restaurants don’t have the greatest track record. We think if she opened up a coffee shop, she would get much better business.

What do U think?

[Image via WENN.]

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It Is Time To Start The Healing And Laugh,

This will bring the LOLs!

The U.K.’s Mirror newspaper is reporting that Michael Jackson tried to adopt the Octo-Mom’s litter of babies shortly before his death so that his youngest son, Blanket, could have playmates.

And they’re being serious!

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From Hamptons To Hills, It’s Still A pAArty!,

Bye-bye Hamptons, Hello El Lay!

Make arrangements, as P.Diddy is moving his annual Fourth of July White Party from the East Coast to the West, opting to have the party in Beverly Hills, rather than in the Hamptons.

This will be the first time in a decade the music mogul/wannabe actor has changed the party’s location, but it is said he will be hosting with pal Ashton Kutcher and celebrities like Forest Whitaker, Kevin Connolly and Demi Moore are expected to hit the private affair.

He couldn’t get any A-listers to go????

[Image via WENN.]

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Sarah Palin’s A Quitter!,

Sarah Palin, the moral matriarch moron, will NOT seek a second terms as Alaska’s Govenor.

Palin will announce the news officially from a press conference at her home in Wasilla, Alaska, this afternoon.

The news must come as a great sadness to those eskimos who love her dearly, but we couldn’t be more thrilled that she is reliquishing her power. However, this move out of office might mean she has her evil eye set on pursuing another form of office: one in a big, white house.

Not again!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Ain’t No Recession In Nashville,

The housing market might be lousy in America, but apparently that doesn’t apply in cowboy country.

Shit-kickin’ country western singer Alan Jackson just placed his Nashville home on the real estate market for the lofty price of $38 million dollars.

The property consists of a 19,000-square-foot house with six bedrooms, seven full baths and two half baths, a nine-car garage, basketball court, boathouse and two ponds. The 135 acre property is the highest-priced residential property for sale in the Nashville area, which leads us to believe there is actually someone crazier than this guy.

We’d stay put in that mansion of yours, Alan, because we reckon ain’t nobody going to give you one-tenth of that price in this economy!

Well, maybe Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban?

[Image via WENN.]

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Extreme Hair Fiasco,

Wow.

Kanye West’s Smurf girlfriend Amber Rose left Villa night club in El Lay last night sporting the greatest fashion fuck up we’ve ever seen since….. well, since we used to do the same exact thing. Matching her hair to her pants to her sunglasses!

LOVES it!!!!!!!!

What do U think???

[Image via WENN.]

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The Queen Pays Tribute To The King,

This just in!!!!

Madonna has just posted these exclusive rehearsal pictures on her official website.

The Queen of Pop will honor Michael Jackson in London on Saturday night, when her Madgesty kicks off the 2nd leg of her internationally sold out Sticky & Sweet tour.

M, are you sure you can’t bring the show back to the U.S.? Maybe just do a few dates in NY and LA????

Pretty please!

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