Self Absorbed

SOCIETY SIZZLER,PALM Beach is about to be lampooned by Donald Trump’s nephew. In “The Misad ventures of Oliver Booth: Life in the Lap of Luxury,” out next month, David Desmond tells the story of a garishly dressed, arrogant and incompetent young man who’ll go to…

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BEST LEFT UNSEEN,JAMES Franco wrote and di rected a movie about how horndog actors prey on women - but you’ll never see it. “[I read] an interview with Robert Duvall and Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman . . . and I guess they were all room mates back when they were…

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PAM, PETA RAGE AT ARMANI,WARNING to Katie Holmes, Cate Blanchett and other stars who wear Armani - Pam Anderson and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are gunning for you. Last year, Giorgio Armani told Time that PETA had persuaded him to drop fur from his designs…

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NO COLD WAR,RELATIONS between their countries are chilly, but there was only love between American and Russian socialites Wednesday night. The party crowd, including Barbara Bush, Alison Serafim, Vito Schnabel, Stavros Niarchos, Natalia Vodianova and Keith and…

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‘INSIDER’ OUT,PAT O’Brien is out of a job. The former host of “The Insider,” who was demoted to a correspondent after several stints in rehab, infuriated his bosses when he sent out an ill-advised e-mail Monday to his “Insider” and “Entertainment Tonight”…

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DENISE DEMISE?,DENISE Richards is about to be sorely disappointed. Charlie Sheen’s ex was spotted at the Silverspoon Emmy gift lounge in Beverly Hills “telling anyone who would listen that her show is being renewed.” But our sources say that isn’t likely. E!’s…

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PARIS LETS PUPS OUT TO DIE,Paris Hilton has no one to blame but herself after two of her Chihuahuas were eaten by coyotes earlier this week. Hilton - a “pet collector” who has more than 10 dogs, a monkey and other mammals in her menagerie - is a well-known nuisance in her…

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HEATHER SUES,SHE dropped her biggest client, Heather Mills, in July, but p.r. pit bull Michelle Elyzabeth needs to pick up a lawyer. Mills filed suit in London “seeking damages for libel” from Elyzabeth, who called her “a witch” and told The News of the World…

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OIL SCION PUMPS PALS’ DOUGH,WATCH out, New York - Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis is in town and grifting for dough. Friends of the broke oil “heir” say that he’s conned them out of money - and that when they ask for it back, he tells them to “go [bleep]” themselves or “borrows”…

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SIGHTINGS,SARAH Jessica Parker’s husband, Matthew Broderick, drinking Belvedere vodka on the rocks and eating chicken satay while giggling with Calvin Klein’s daughter, Marci, at Catch-22 lounge. The friends left at 11 p.m. after two hours . . . LEONARDO…

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